After this chaotic but magical wedding, Samire was officially married.
He strutted around the neighborhood like a celebrity. Little children whispered, “It’s Samire, the one who got married without electricity!”
Even the goats respected him more.
But the wedding? Ohhh, Samire had no idea what he’d signed up for.
Day 1: The Honeymoon (aka: His Mother’s Guest Room)
Samire was ready for romance. Candles. Roses. Soft music.
Instead, Hodan came in with a bucket and gloves and said, “Let’s start by cleaning this room. I saw three spiders and a sock older than your jokes.”
Samire sighed. “Even spiders get married before me…”
Day 3: First Argument
The first argument was about… toothpaste.
Hodan squeezed him from the bottom. Samire? From the middle, like a wild animal.
“Wallahi, who’s squeezing from the middle?” she yelled.
“I’ve been doing this since 2003!” he protested.
They remained silent for two hours.
But she brought him canjeero, or loxoox, Somali pancakes, and peace returned.
Day 7: Samire Tries Cooking
Hodan was at work. Samire wanted to impress him.
He tried making pasta. But he forgot the water. So he settled for… frying dry noodles in oil.
When Hodan came home, the house smelled of regret.
“What’s that?”
“Somali lasagna,” Samire lied.
They ate bread and tea that evening.
Day 14: Visit to the In-Laws
This was the real test.
Hodan’s father looked at Samire as if he were a car he hadn’t ordered.
“So… you’re the one who married my daughter?”
Samire smiled. “Yes, sir. I’m an ambitious man.”
The father nodded. “Do you have a job?”
Samire choked on his tea.
“Um… I’m working on becoming a full-time comedian.”
The old man said, “Good. You’ll need jokes when you’re broke.”
Day 30: Married Life Settles In
As soon as Aunt and Samire began to understand, through burnt rice, awkward visits from their aunts, and 19 misunderstandings, Samire and Hodan began to understand.
He made her laugh.
She made him lunch.
She folded his clothes.
He unfolded them, looking for his phone.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was theirs.
One night, Samire looked at Hodan sleeping (snoring softly like a camel) and whispered,
“Maybe marriage isn’t so scary. Maybe… I was just scared growing up.”
She suddenly opened one eye.
“And maybe I heard that.”
Moral of the story:
Marriage isn’t about perfection. It’s about teamwork, forgiveness, and learning how to squeeze toothpaste properly.
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